Past and Pain (Open)

[Jean Grey]

The soft sounds of the machines around her caused her to open her eyes, long lashes lifted from those dark emerald orbs and slowly Jean turned her head. She knew this place, how could she not when she spent so much time here? The med lab had always been a place of comfort to her, a place she knew like the back of her hand, some place to escape when she needed to. The difference this time was she wasn't standing she was lying down. Her head turned from the myriad of machines that kept track of her vital signs to the other side, it seemed for the moment she was alone.

Her eyes slowly closed once more as images flashed through her mind, the war, the battle at Alcatraz Island, her last plea to Logan to save her, to stop her from the chaos and death she was creating. She let out an involuntary gasp at the memory of his claws going through her. How then if that had happened was she lying here now alive and unharmed? Jean slowly shifted to sit up removing the sensors from her body as she did so. Her clothing had changed from the dark red to a black dress and flat heeled pumps, something simple. Who had changed her she didn't know, but she wanted to find out what had happened.

One hand came up to run through the thick waist length fiery locks pushing them back from her face as she prepared to slip off the table she had been lying on. The moment one foot touched the floor her leg shook as if it didn't want to support her weight. Deciding she couldn't stand well enough to leave she settled back on the examining table. She supposed all she could do now was wait for someone to show up, possibly explain all that had happened, the gaps she didn't remember.

[Camille { CHAMELEON } Summers]

With a quick burst of speed, she found herself blocking one of the best shots of the game. Sure, she took the ball to the stomach, but at least they had won. Unfortunately, Colossus had quite a leg and had hit her extremely hard. Luckily, she was able to take a hit. She stood and looked around. Her teacher had just blown the whistle and beckoned everyone in. “Good verk, guys. That’s enough soccer for now. Next veek we will be working on ice hockey.”

“Yea!” Unable to keep her excitement in, the girl who had just arrived punched the air. The teacher, a blue-skinned man known as Nighcrawler, couldn’t help but smile. No doubt he had chosen his next sport for her.

“Go get changed, I’ll see you all on Monday.” He turned and let the PE class split to go to their changing rooms. The girl quickly changed from her shorts and bright orange t-shirt to long jeans and a long-sleeved white blouse. She had a free period next and /always/ went down to visit her mother at free time.

She grabbed her bag, waved to Nightcrawler on her way out and headed down to the labs. Any normal person would have been in the infirmary after the beating she had taken, but jean Grey, special as she was, had been put in her labs. One of the major reasons was so that random students couldn’t go in and mess with her. You needed clearance to enter the labs. Luckily Camille Summers had said clearance.

She placed her hand on a small glass square beside the door. As the red buzzer read her fingerprints, she whistled lightly to herself. A second later, she entered the room.

Cham dropped her bag next to the door and grabbed a swivel chair. She sat in it and wheeled herself over to the table. It wasn’t until she looked down and saw her mother wide awake that she gasped and stood back. “Wow! I was so not expecting that!”

[Jean Grey]

Jean's head turned as she heard the sound of the door opening and she watched Cham step into the room and move to settle next to her. Given Cham's level of surprise Jean could only assume she had been lying here for a while after the war. She remembered nothing beyond the darkness that gripped her after Logan did as she begged him to do. One hand slowly reached out for her daughter and she shifted to sit up ignoring the throbbing in her head.

"Cham.......sweetheart its alright."

Her and Scott's precious daughter, the last thing Jean wanted was for the girl to be afraid of her. Her hand slowly dropped to her side as realization hit her, if she was here and alive that meant that the evil had not been undone. She risked losing it again and causing chaos all over again. The look on the redhead's face went from tenderness at seeing her daughter to stricken in seconds. Emerald eyes met blue and Jean swallowed hard to force the shaking back lest it come out in her voice.

"Camille....I think it best if you leave, I don't want to hurt you. Not like I did to so many others."

[Camille { CHAMELEON } Summers]

"Cham...Sweetheart it’s alright."

Her eyes widened when she heard her mother’s sweet and tender voice. Memories flooded over her of her childhood. The songs her mother sang to her before bed for years, the caressing when she injured herself and so much more. She stepped forward as she calmed down. Her mother had sat up and she naturally wanted to fall into her soft arms and give her the biggest hug she could muster.

But then something in her emerald green eyes changed. Horror suddenly flooded through the elder woman as she, no doubt, thought of the worst case scenario.

"Camille...I think it best if you leave, I don't want to hurt you. Not like I did to so many others."

Despite the possibility of this not truly being her mother, Cham paused only a second in her prelude to the hug. Even if the Phoenix was the one in control, Cham knew, deep down, that she would not be hurt. “You wouldn’t hurt me. Phoenix or not, I trust you. But I will. I’ll go get Logan and Dr. McCoy. They should know.” Reluctant as she was to leave her mother’s warm arms, she pulled away.

She turned to leave but stopped and looked back. Realizing she was being completely rude, she spoke up. “Can I get you anything? Water? Aspirin?” She paused and realized a second thing. Her mother had been out for weeks –or more, Cham had lost count- but she wouldn’t have known about Scott.

“Dad…Would send his love if he could. He’s in Canada right now. We’re not sure how long it will be.” There was no use telling her the entire story at the moment. She didn’t need to know that he was in a coma or that she had caused it. Cham wasn’t sure what exactly her mother remembered. Perhaps all she knew was that she had died at Alkali. It was possible that the entire time the Phoenix had her reigns, she was completely unaware.

Given the look in her eyes, however, that was unlikely. No, much as Cham wanted to believe that, she knew that her mother had watched the whole thing happen. She waited quietly for her mother’s reply, holding eye contact the whole time.

[Jean Grey]

Despite the warning the young woman moved and wrapped her arms around Jean anyway and for a brief moment Jean forgot to be worried. Her arms wrapped around her daughter and her eyes closed as she took in the girl's warmth and scent. She had no idea how long she had been lying in the med lab, how she was even here, but what she did know was that the girl in her arms was real and loved her. When Camille stepped back and turned to leave as Jean had asked the woman closed her eyes again trying to force back the tears.

The last time she had seen her daughter was before she and Storm had left to go get Kurt, she had said goodbye to the girl and Scott and that was the last she had seen of Camille until now. The redhead was lost in a swirl of memories as she stared at her daughter, the laughter when she was a child, the love shared between mother and daughter. It took Jean a moment to register what Camille had asked and she shook her head meeting those beautiful blue eyes.

The sixteen year old was right, Jean had looked through her own eyes even as Phoenix became the dominate personality, she had seen the chaos created, knew what had been done and it tore her apart. A single crystalline tear slide down the flawless flesh as the memories hit her once more though at the mention of Scott still being alive the look of shock on Jean's face was more then evident.

"No.....I.....I just need to talk to someone....yes Logan or Hank will do......And Camille.....please come back as well. I haven't seen you in so long. I-" She paused for a moment as her eyes closed and more silent tears made their escape. "I love you, I always have."

[Camille { CHAMELEON } Summers]

**I’m getting all teary over here You play her so sweetly Oh, because we don’t have anyone playing Beast, I’m gonna just bring him in as an NPC so you can use him too**

"No.....I.....I just need to talk to someone…yes Logan or Hank will do”

Cam turned to leave but her mother spoke again.

”And Camille.....please come back as well. I haven't seen you in so long. I-I love you, I always have."

She smiled, he eyes filling with love, and…was that water? A small tear trickled down her check as she turned to leave. “I will mom.” She muttered.


Once she was out the door, Cham fled down the white hallways. Once she reached the fork and had to decide to go up or stay underground she paused. “Where would he be?” she asked herself out loud. Luckily, she didn’t have to wait long because she received a verbal answer to her rhetorical question.

”Where would who be, my dear?”

Cham turned to see the large, bulky blue mass of Dr. Hank McCoy. She sighed with releaf. “You, Dr. McCoy. Mother is awake.”

”What!?” His tone was thick with disbelieve, though he knew very well that she would not lie about such a thing. Cham turned wordlessly back down the corridor that lead to the lab. Hank followed.

Cham once again opened the door and Hank walked in after. His eyes widened. Cautiously, he stepped toward the woman sitting on the tray table. ”Jean?

[Jean Grey]

Jean closed her eyes again as Camille left the lab and she bowed her head letting the tears fall in silence. The memories of what had happened swirling around in her mind. The only comfort at this point that she had was the fact that Scott lived though there was no assurance that he would ever wake up, and her daughter seemed not to fear her. There was worry about that, Camille had not seen Phoenix the way the others had and words just didn't work as well as actually seeing it. By leaving her alive Logan had put everyone at risk again, Phoenix was not dead, she lingered like a cancer eating away at Jean's mind, struggling to be free.

Hearing Hank McCoy's voice caused the redhead to look up and she met the man's eyes as she slowly brushed the tears away. Her gaze went to Camille who had come in behind Hank and she forced a small smile for the girl. What she was going to say was likely going to send her daughter into a fit but it had to be said because it was the truth.

"Hank......its good to see you again, and yet.....I can't help feeling sad that I'm sitting here right now."

The blue furred mutant's eyebrows rose slightly as he moved to stand next to Jean and he touched her hand only for her to snatch it back from him. "Why ever do you say that my dear? Your being here is a blessing to all of us."

"Even after what happened, all that I did, Hank....I killed so many people who didn't deserve to die!" Jean's voice was frantic for a moment and her powers reacted causing one of the lights to explode in its socket.

"What's done is done Jean, you can't change that. All you can do is live in the now and atone for what was done. There are people here who need you, your daughter is one, Logan, Scott, the students, so many that love and care for you." Hank replied gently.

Jean closed her eyes and more tears fell as she tried to calm herself so she didn't lose control again and risk hurting anyone. "You should have let me die......" Her words were quiet and choked with tears.

Death was not something Jean really wanted, not with so many around who still cared so deeply for her. She knew however that Phoenix would not lie dormant forever, she would awaken again and the cycle would begin anew.

[Camille { CHAMELEON } Summers]

”I can't help feeling sad that I'm sitting here right now."
Cham was about to shout something in retaliation but she didn’t get a chance to as Hank spoke. Cham sighed and remained silent until they had finished.

"You should have let me die..."

This infuriated Cham and she finally did speak up. “No! Look, I may not have seen it all but I know what she did and you should not be meant to pay for that. I don’t care what you say or think you need to do Dr. McCoy is right. There’s no point in wishing you where gone. All you can do is try to be better.” She stepped forward. “I need you to be here.”

[Jean Grey]

Jean glanced to her daughter when Camille spoke up and green eyes met green for a moment before the woman was nodding. She bowed her head and let her arms wrap around herself as she thought on everything Hank had said, Camille needed her, Scott if he ever woke up would as well. So many depended on her despite the fact that Phoenix still resided inside her. Jean lifted her head a moment later and one hand reached out for her daughter. "

"Forgive me, I can't help the way I feel Camille, but I will do my best to put the thoughts behind me."

Hank smiled and gave the two a nod. "Excellent, is there anything you need Jean?"

Jean was silent for a moment before she glanced around the lab and shook her head. "Aside from getting out of here I don't think so." She glanced to her daughter as Hank moved to check the machines she had been hooked up to. "How long have I been here?"

[Camille { CHAMELEON } Summers]

Cham smiled when her mother spoke more like a normal, self-preserving human. The elder red-head reached out to touch her daughter and Cham, naturally, moved closer to her reach. She wrapped her arm around her mothers and hugged her closely, refusing to let go. Slowly, and somewhat unknowingly, her eyes started to change from their normal bright blue to the exact emerald shade of her mother’s.

Hank had gone to check the machines to see weather or not Jean would be able to leave the lab. Then Jean spoke.

"How long have I been here?"

Cham rolled her eyes up to the ceiling, trying her best to calculate. She wasn’t even aware of her mother being housed beneath the school until about two weeks after she had gotten there. She was furious when Logan finally told her, however, and demanded that she get the needed clearance to go down and see her. Logan, being the incredible softie he was, agreed.

“Three -- three and a half months maybe.” She looked over at Hank. “He was saying it was unlikely that someone in your state would wake after so long, but I believed, and so did Uncle Logan.” She smiled. “Professor Xavier has been monitoring you closely but there have been no signs of violence or Phoenix in your brain activity. He believes that, if she is not gone for good, she is locked very deeply within.”

She glanced around the room, trying to figure out what else she could say. She knew her mother would be curious about the going-ons of the school. Unfortunately, despite her constant effort to hide her useless feelings for him, all she could find for a topic was Kurt. “Kurt decided to come back after the fight. He’s teaching PE now. And Drama.” Despite the fact that she really only knew him as Professor Wagner, he was one of the few teachers she viewed more as a friend and used their first name. “He’s directing our first musical performance. I’ve got the lead.” She grinned proudly. “The show is in two weeks. Maybe you could come?”

She did her best to keep off the topic of grades. While it was true hers where very high, she had lacked in some due to her spending so much time in the labs. The teachers mostly excused it A) because they knew what she was going through, and B) because they had all mostly helped to raise her. Jean probably shouldn’t be using her powers any time soon, and Cham knew that she knew that. Still, she was still paranoid of her mind being read and her mother pinpointing the ‘forbidden topic’. She did her best to keep her fears hidden.

[Jean Grey]

Jean listened to her daughter tell her how long she had been in the lab since she had been spared from death a second time. Those emerald eyes widened slightly as the girl spoke of Professor Xavier being alive, the last Jean had known the man had been killed back at her parent's house. That shock wore off as Camille went on to talk about Kurt a small smile crossed Jean's lips, it wasn't hard to see that Camille had a crush on the blue skinned mutant. It seemed her daughter was well adjusted to life in the manor and she was well liked, at least as far as Jean could tell from what the girl was saying.

"I would love to come, and I don't see any reason why I won't be able to."

If Xavier was right and Phoenix gone or deeply locked away then Jean had no fear of being around anyone anymore. She glanced back to Hank as the man continued to fiddle before she was looking to her daughter one hand coming up to brush the hair back from the girl's face.

"How is Logan?"

She wasn't ready just yet to leave the lab despite being slightly uncomfortable, the thought of being around all the students and staff was a bit unnerving at the moment. Camille seemed happy enough just to talk to her so it didn't really matter where it was done at the moment. Jean still needed a shower and to change clothing from what she was in. She wanted so badly to ask about Scott, find out if there was a way for her to go see him, but she left that alone. Camille didn't seem to know much about what was going on with her father and Jean didn't want to cause any bad feelings.

[Camille { CHAMELEON } Summers]

She saw her mother’s lip curl up into a smile and she closed her eyes. Why did parents always automatically know these kinds of things? Regardless, she would let the subject drop and hopefully, it wouldn’t be brought back up again.

"I would love to come, and I don't see any reason why I won't be able to."

She looked up at her mother and her mouth fell back into its regular grin. “Great! I can’t wait.” When her mother reached up to brush a strand of hair from her face, her smile faded from the cheeky, large grin to a delicate, soft smile.

"How is Logan?"

It took Cham a few seconds to decide what exactly to say. Eventually, she brought her hand up to hold her mothers. “He’s better. He left just as soon as he set you down here. I was sure he was just ditching again, but he called about a week later with news of Father. We where all actually incredibly surprised that he had made a special trip to visit him.

“He got back about a month ago and has been teaching ever since. He doesn’t like to talk about it though…” Cham knew she was babbling, but she didn’t know exactly what to say or how to say it. She didn’t know anything about Jena and Logan’s ‘relationship’. She only knew they where friends.

[Jean Grey]

Jean closed her eyes briefly as her mind went over what Camille had said, Logan was here, teaching, he had seen Scott and sent the news back that he was alive. The redhead swallowed hard to push back the tide of emotions that wanted to overwhelm her and she opened her eyes a moment later. Those emerald orbs fixed on the door in front of her before she was speaking, her finger entwining with her daughters.

"I think I'm ready to leave the lab now...I need a shower, I want to change clothes, and get something to eat."

Her voice remained soft as went over everything else she wanted to do, she had been down here for 3 months according to Camille, she needed to see the manor again, the sun, the sky. She carefully slipped off the table and found that her weight was finally supported. She kept hold of Camille's hand and once she knew she was alright on her own she pulled the young woman into a real hug.

"I know your probably busy but if you could stay with me? Or find someone who could? I'm not exactly ready to be alone right now."

[Camille { CHAMELEON } Summers]

"I think I'm ready to leave the lab now...I need a shower, I want to change clothes, and get something to eat."

Cham was about to stop her mother but realized that there was no point. Though most of her own stubborness had come from her father, she knew the older woman had a stubborn streak as well and wouldn't hear of it. Besides, this was her home long before it was anyone elce's and she deserved to see it again.

Cham stepped back do her mother could have room, only to be pulled back into a huge hug. She grinned and wrapped her arms around her mother's waste. She scrunched her nose playfully. "And you need a shower! Yech." Regardless, she squeezed tightly. "Do you want to take it down here in the decontamination labs so no one will see you yet? I can go and get you clothes to change into, that way when everyone sees you again it'll be the...fully hygiene you ." She stepped back, keeping one arm around her mother, as if afraid to let go.

"I know your probably busy but if you could stay with me? Or find someone who could? I'm not exactly ready to be alone right now."

She grinned. "Hey, my teachers are all X-Men, I don't think they'll mind me skipping class for a day. I really don't think Ororo or Logan will keep me from spending time with you."

[Jean Grey]

A small chuckle escaped Jean at her daughter's playfulness and it seemed to almost shock the older woman for a moment. It had been so long since she had heard herself laugh and actually have a reason to do so. It felt good and Jean hoped that she would have reasons to laugh again. Her arm slipped around Camille's shoulders and she nodded to the girls question.

"Yes cleaning up down here is more then fine, I would prefer to look presentable when I finally see everyone again."

Jean dearly wished to see everyone again after all that had happened, and her thoughts for a moment lingered on Scott. She had only been awake about an hour by now but she found she missed him more then anything. As she and Camille moved to the doors to leave Jean paused and glanced back to Hank.

"Thank you Hank, for everything you have done for me."

The blue furred mutant turned and gave Jean a small smile and a nod. "All in a days work my dear, you are very precious to so many of us here. I am glad to see you have recovered."